Apology for the long absent of my blogging have been meaning to write something up and there is so much to share and write about that l just couldn’t find just that one experience l really wanted to share with you until now. l felt ready to share this because of the impact it had on me and that it took a couple of months to unfold in front of me. Let me begin with these bold words below:
Do you think your kids misses out cause your so busy with what your doing, you don’t have much of a routine, it’s really important that they have consistent routine, don’t work so hard girl you miss out on living, look at you, you look so tired you need to slow down, is this all worth it, do you think what your doing is having an impact on your family life. Why are you so driven, do you even thiink about your kids?
l found myself the last few month spending a lot of time seeing those bold statement run continuously through my head space that l started questioning myself and the impact it had in all area of my life. Was l pushing my family aside, is this really about me, why do l feel so much conviction in what l am trying to do, am l really selfish with my dreams or my goals or is there sometime more than this?
A few months back l was in a conversation with a close friend of mine when l was asked these question and she shared her observation of my family life with me. l defensively answered her question and got quite emotional about it, that l sounded like l was convincing her to believe in my life mission and the vision l have for my company that l ended sounding like her. I walked away not only questioning our friendship or myself but I also knew l did the exact same thing to her what she just did to me with my come back answer. Not only did l left feeling upset & frustrated with our conversation but instantly l even starting judging myself as a person, a mother, a wife and entrepreneur. This had a snow ball effect on me. l started to question all my motives that it was slowly feeding my self -doubt that l thought l tamed awhile back. Now it was pounding on my door constantly that it got harder to ignore. Slowly it seeps through everything l did from the way l did my business, to the way the l interacted with others, it attacked my faith, my marriage and my family. The worst part was the feeling of hopelessness, the overwhelming feeling of just trying to stay above, and becoming anxious with the things that l was passionate about and that was my business.
How often do we encounter this when we met up with family members, friends, work colleagues when they questioned your life choices and why you choose to continue to be on that path? How often do we feel like instead of sharing your life passion you end up preaching the cons of what you’re trying to do, and the why’s, how often do we become defensive that we can came across aggressive or how we feel defeated that we walk away from our dreams or the strong desire in your heart becomes dim. Sometimes in life we experience this so that it can be reveal more to us why we do the things we do, why we really can’t explain that strong desire to follow your dreams. There will always be a moment when you realise this. Just a few days ago l got my answer and l was blown away and it has allowed me to dream bigger than ever.
You see my husband took our 4yr old to her kindy class that she goes once a week. Nana Margaret tried to call us to let us know it was show and tell and to bring something for Ari to talk about. By this stage they left home and Theo was already at school when he received the message. He looked around the car and found my “Eat Real” running visor hat and she took it in with her. Come to show and tell she spoke about my shop been a café and making healthy food for people. Theo mentioned how proud Ari was of my business and Nana even did a big spill about it to the teachers and parents (she was also very proud), this situation has been a blessing it was totally meant to happen not only did it answered all the bold question that l encountered with my close friend, but it also birth a new business venture that l wouldn’t of thought to explore. So if you are on the right path you will always get your confirmation just be open to receive it.
© Eat Real 2018